2.12.2009

Written 2/11/09 at 11:56 p.m.

This has to be one of my worst poems ever written. But I'm trying to get feedback on it. If you have me on facebook or myspace, then let me know what you think. And btw: this in no way reflects my own first time...


I look up
Light slides under the door
And enters the room
My eyes close
I pull the comforter tighter
Around my naked body
The sheets are crumpled at my feet
Images from the past hours
Flash through my mind
I rub my feet together
The room is too cold
And something in my head tells 
Me it shouldn't be like this
The pain
It was too much to bear
A tear slides down my cheek
Light suddenly floods into the room
I know he's back
I turn and face the wall
Pretending to be asleep
His hand touches my shoulder
It's ice cold
I try not to flinch
Givung up, he leaves the room
Footsteps
The front door slams
And he's gone...


I don't care if you hate, well I do. But that's why I'm asking! I need to know how to make myself a better writer. So hit me up with advice and comments and such...