Dear Mr. Witt,
Well this is it fucker, how so many people feel. Basically the entire first semester you have made me miserable and just plain pissed everyone off.
Okay, yes, I could have done more homework. But that shouldn't have been the only thing to keep my grade so low. You don't give anyone a break. I know people that switch out so they're able to maintain their 4.0. There are some of the most intelligent people in our grade that take your course and still come out with only a B+ or an A-. But that isn't even close to the end.
Now, have I mentioned the way you just come off to people? You're sort of tall and fat topped off by greasy black hair with grey streaks in it. You're balding very obviously. It goes to the middle of your head in a sort of half oval shape. Then your face! It's all pig like and squashed in. You're eyes look like the beads people stick on stuff animals. Then there's those big coke bottle glasses that nerds wore in the 80's. I mean if they were retarded back then, then they'll be retarded today. Plus you have leathery looking skin. It just looks like it should be on a couch or something. Now to the rest of you. Remember when we had to discuss with you about our opening statements, but it was during a test so you leaned in closer? Yeah, I smelled your fucking breath. I don't think bus 109 even smells that bad. And if you didn't know, that bus smells pretty foul. Then there's your odor, but it's nothing to out of the ordinary. Just regular smelly body odor. And we haven't even started on your hands. Now I hate my hands very much so, but yours make mine look good enough to be a hand model. Your nails are chipped and broken with a whole bunch of cracks in them. They have that ugly yellowing fungus thing like you see in the commercials. And the skin also has that thick leathery look to it. They wrinkle on knuckles, but it's not like the little amount on other people's. It looks like when you mess up a blanket real bad.
Let's get started on your attitude. You waltz around the classroom like you're better then us. Just because you went to mother fucking Stanford doesn't mean you're any better then me or any other person in your classes. First off we haven't gone to college yet, so you can't judge us. Secondly the type of university someone goes to doesn't necessarily make you a better human being. Oh and just because we don't know the answer to a question we were never asked on a subject we've never covered before doesn't make us bad students! We've been programmed to only read and answer the questions you assign us. Scan the page, answer questions, turn in the homework and move on. Then you assign us a test and we refer back to it to study.
Speaking of tests, yours fucking suck. I remember when you gave us that one on cells or something. You messed up the key AND put information we haven't covered in class before on there. Then wet around like "Oh! I added five points because I messed up." No! You don't do that. What you do is either fix the key or re-test us. Shithead. We each lost 15 points on that one, not just a mere five. That's how basically all of your tests are. At the beginning of the year they dragged on like every single one of them was our final exam.
Don't you even get me started on homework. I may not be in honors English, but my teacher assigned us basically two essays a month, well just about. And then I had three research papers in my Social Studies class. Not to mention my math teacher gave us a unit test every other week so a lot of my time was spent studying for that. Last, but not least I'm in a higher up foreign language, so I had a lot of work in that class.
I guess in all I can't really chalk up a full good reason about why I hate you. But I just do. I detest your guts, and you got a lot of gut to detest let me tell you. Oh and I have a question for you. If you're a high and mighty Stanford graduate, what are you doing teaching a high school tenth grade biology class? Just wondering is all. Because you're so intelligent and all that jazz.
So, I was talking with my therapist. And I do say good things about you. Like how you're smart and graduated Stanford. But I think that's about it... Anyways! She simply thinks you have a different teaching style than most do. And I have to say that I agree with her. I mean, reflecting over our homework than showing us a webpage, and assigning us new homework is definitely different. But isn't exactly the best way to teach us the stuff we need to know in order to pass the science WASL, which is coming up quite soon. And not that it matters since we don't need to pass it, which just shows how unimportant science really is in our everyday lives. All we need to is pass the reading and writing section. Which I don't understand since math is super crucial. But whatever. I just thought I'd let you know all of this because I believe that I may burst out in class and just bitch you out. But you're not worth getting suspended over so this feels so much better.
Love,
An Adoring Student
P.S: I did this in Times New Roman 12 pt. font just for you :]
