It Really Is Good

I just realized we are three weeks into summer. Just thought I'd share that with you. Anyways, it is an incredible day. Very sunny and warm. I think after this I might go tanning on my deck. I'm so pale it's ridiculous. How is your summer treating you so far? Good I would hope. Whether you're stuck in Washington like me or having a blast somewhere tropical or in the middle of Europe. These past few weeks have been pretty amazing for some reason. I haven't done anything too spectacular, just hung out with friends and caught up on a ridiculous amount of sleep. But I feel so happy lately. I can't really explain why. For once in my life the only thing that stresses me out is my step-mom, but that's nothing new now is it? The only thing I can connect to it is that I stopped talking to someone. Yeah they were a great person but I was too attached to them and they didn't return my feelings. Even though I knew this I always ended up dissapointing myself with him. But since I stopped talking to him I'm so much happier. Maybe he isn't the only thing that's changed but it's the main thing that I can think of at the moment other than the fact that I've decided to please myself more than I want to please other people. So between these two things life just can't get any better. Sorry if I'm sounded retarded or insanely happy but I've never felt truly blissful with myself AND with my life. It's such an amazing feeling. Okaaaay well I'm gonna bounce now. Going to tan and get ready for practice tonight. Some helluh fine boys to see there (:

It's Been Awhile...

Well it's been about two and a half months since my last post. Not really sure why I stopped writing. I think my posts just got pretty repetitive or whatever. But now I have so much more on my mind then some dumb guy I used to like and never talk to anymore. Well for one, I've been a lot happier then I was before. Pretty sure it's not a coincidence that once I learned to not form attachments to people as easily my stress dissolved. My mistake was that I kept giving everyone the benefit of the doubt no matter how often they let me down in the past. Another thing is I've been trying to re-invent myself in a way. I'm not letting anyone tell me how to live my own life. I'll do what I want, within reason, and make my own mistakes in life. I understand that you may know more about a subject then I do but if you don't let me then I'll never be able to learn for myself. All i want to do at the moment is do what makes me happy and have a good time with life on my own. I don't need a boyfriend to have a whole and content life. I have my friends who are boys and I have my friends who are girls. If someone else comes along and fits in nicely then more power to them. But at the moment I'm not out looking for something extra in my life. People go in and out of my life all the time. It may suck at times and I'd rather no one went out but rather come in closer. Only there is nothing I can do about other people's lives. If I mess up you can leave for as long as you want, I'll be here when you come back, if you choose to, just don't expect me to follow you. This may sound hypocritical compared to how I've been in the past. But the past is just that, the past. It's behind me. Gone for good. No use chasing after something I can't catch. That's kind of the reason I want to change the path ahead of me. It's the one thing I will always have control over even if everything else around me is falling apart.