Yes it's true. Every time I hear you voice, something in the vicinity of my chest begins to ache. It won't stop until you've left the room and people have stopped laughing at your jokes that really aren't all that funny. I see you in the hallway at school all the time. I stick that fake smile on and give you a small wave. You have no idea how hard it is for me to even muster up the strength to do just that. But I will still go out of my way to "run into you" during school. And yet I can't gather up enough courage to ask you if you want to hang out. Why can
't I do this? I'm over you. I really am. When I'm with my friends I say it over and over again. Because it's the truth. But then someone actually says your name or I see you on the field and all these old feelings come rushing back into me. I can't even begin to explain why I like you. At this moment in time I don't know why I do. Sometimes I wish someone could explain to me why the mention of you drives me crazy. But I fear if they do that then I'll realize, all over again, the reasons I can't have you. And there is nothing I hate more than being reminded of why I can't have the things I want in life. I want to go to a different school. Shoreline is my home but Seattle is my life. I have my best friends there. I enjoy the enjoy the lifestyle and scenery of downtown. The people are crazy in a way that makes me laugh all the time. It's such a different atmosphere then Echo Lake or Richmond Beach. I'd rather spend my time in Lake City or Seattle Center than anywhere else in the vicinity. There you can be anyone you want to be. In Shoreline I feel like we all have to be, or be friends with, someone who has a fancy house in Richmond Beach with a view of the water. While that is a nice lifestyle, it's not realistic. Seattle allows the rich to rub elbows with the homeless and smile about it. Seattle is and always will be my home. I want, no need, to get out of Shoreine. It suffocates me to the point where I feel that I can no longer breathe. A new school, a new group of people, a new life will give me the air back. The air I so desperatley need.
Yes it's true. Every time I hear you voice, something in the vicinity of my chest begins to ache. It won't stop until you've left the room and people have stopped laughing at your jokes that really aren't all that funny. I see you in the hallway at school all the time. I stick that fake smile on and give you a small wave. You have no idea how hard it is for me to even muster up the strength to do just that. But I will still go out of my way to "run into you" during school. And yet I can't gather up enough courage to ask you if you want to hang out. Why can
't I do this? I'm over you. I really am. When I'm with my friends I say it over and over again. Because it's the truth. But then someone actually says your name or I see you on the field and all these old feelings come rushing back into me. I can't even begin to explain why I like you. At this moment in time I don't know why I do. Sometimes I wish someone could explain to me why the mention of you drives me crazy. But I fear if they do that then I'll realize, all over again, the reasons I can't have you. And there is nothing I hate more than being reminded of why I can't have the things I want in life. I want to go to a different school. Shoreline is my home but Seattle is my life. I have my best friends there. I enjoy the enjoy the lifestyle and scenery of downtown. The people are crazy in a way that makes me laugh all the time. It's such a different atmosphere then Echo Lake or Richmond Beach. I'd rather spend my time in Lake City or Seattle Center than anywhere else in the vicinity. There you can be anyone you want to be. In Shoreline I feel like we all have to be, or be friends with, someone who has a fancy house in Richmond Beach with a view of the water. While that is a nice lifestyle, it's not realistic. Seattle allows the rich to rub elbows with the homeless and smile about it. Seattle is and always will be my home. I want, no need, to get out of Shoreine. It suffocates me to the point where I feel that I can no longer breathe. A new school, a new group of people, a new life will give me the air back. The air I so desperatley need.
