For those of you that don't know, which is probably most of you, I used to cut myself. And not my wrists. Although I did do that once but that scar has been long gone thanks to some ointments and such. Anyways, I wanted to be different so I cut myself in other places. Places where people couldn't see the damage I was doing to myself. I'm not going to say where because that would just destroy the fun of it. The reason I chose to bring this up is because, like every Sunday, I woke up and looked at PostSecret and saw this particular one. Now every Sunday I can always find at least one secret that I am able to relate to. But this one just had me floored. Because I've sent my secrets in before. One of them has even been published on the site, want to know which one? Just ask me and I'll show it to you. Anyways, I sent my most recent secret in on Thursday and this certain one is held very close to me. No one knows I actually feel like it. Sure I talk about it with my friends, but to me it's not a joke like it is to them. To me it's how I actually feel. Well when I sent that aforementioned secret in, I felt a rush or release of emotion and adrenaline. Just like I did when I cut myself. You might be wondering why I felt the need to cut myself. If you're not then you're going to find out anyway. It was around March of 2006 (7th grade for the kiddos in my grade,) me and the first guy I had given a shit about had just broke up and my entire group of friends had turned on me because of some shit this chick Lindsey had said. Basically I had to start all over. Now this was familiar territory for me since I had been the new girl that year. But that was the problem. I had only been in Shoreline for a grand total of six months. I didn't talk to a lot of people outside of my group of kids. If you knew me back then you know how shy I was. I was starting all over. It was just like it was September again. But that wasn't all of it. Now a lot of families are fucked up beyond repair. Mine would be one of them. I'm not going to get into detail but basically the past August we had to get a restraining order against my grandmother and stop talking to the whole of my dad's side of the family. So it was all of my family drama combined with the fact that I basically had no more friends to talk to. Soooo yeah. That basically wraps up this post.
4.05.2009
The Truth
For those of you that don't know, which is probably most of you, I used to cut myself. And not my wrists. Although I did do that once but that scar has been long gone thanks to some ointments and such. Anyways, I wanted to be different so I cut myself in other places. Places where people couldn't see the damage I was doing to myself. I'm not going to say where because that would just destroy the fun of it. The reason I chose to bring this up is because, like every Sunday, I woke up and looked at PostSecret and saw this particular one. Now every Sunday I can always find at least one secret that I am able to relate to. But this one just had me floored. Because I've sent my secrets in before. One of them has even been published on the site, want to know which one? Just ask me and I'll show it to you. Anyways, I sent my most recent secret in on Thursday and this certain one is held very close to me. No one knows I actually feel like it. Sure I talk about it with my friends, but to me it's not a joke like it is to them. To me it's how I actually feel. Well when I sent that aforementioned secret in, I felt a rush or release of emotion and adrenaline. Just like I did when I cut myself. You might be wondering why I felt the need to cut myself. If you're not then you're going to find out anyway. It was around March of 2006 (7th grade for the kiddos in my grade,) me and the first guy I had given a shit about had just broke up and my entire group of friends had turned on me because of some shit this chick Lindsey had said. Basically I had to start all over. Now this was familiar territory for me since I had been the new girl that year. But that was the problem. I had only been in Shoreline for a grand total of six months. I didn't talk to a lot of people outside of my group of kids. If you knew me back then you know how shy I was. I was starting all over. It was just like it was September again. But that wasn't all of it. Now a lot of families are fucked up beyond repair. Mine would be one of them. I'm not going to get into detail but basically the past August we had to get a restraining order against my grandmother and stop talking to the whole of my dad's side of the family. So it was all of my family drama combined with the fact that I basically had no more friends to talk to. Soooo yeah. That basically wraps up this post.
