Okay so maybe we haven't graduated yet. But I really hope that you don't forget me. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. You seem to know me better than I could ever know myself. Even when I try and kid my own mind, you turn it around to let me know that I do know what your talking about and that I do know what I'm doing. I try and mask it with a smile or a quick laugh. But you keep a stern face on and let me know that I cannot fool you. Does it bug me? Yes. Can it hurt me sometimes? Yes. Would I want it any other way? No. I look forward to talking to you everyday that I can. You're the first name I look for when I get online. It's a little more than vaguely pathetic since I know you've never and will never feel how I feel towards you. The feeling has just been following me around for a little bit. But I can't forget it. Why? I have no fucking idea. Okay so I started writing this post a couple hours ago and was unaware of how to fill it. And now I know how to, by going against the topic of this posting. I need to forget you. I don't care if you forget me or not. All I know is I need to just let go of how I feel about you and get on with my life. Yeah, I mean I'll miss all the great advice and you making me laugh at the stupidest things. I will miss that, it cheers me up so much. But I think I can find someone who will replace you. No, I know WILL find someone who WILL replace you. At the moment I think it's the best thing for me to do. I can't get attached to anyone at all. It's the perfect way of setting myself up for getting hurt. I've done it in the past. And it's something I haven't let myself do since 8th grade. That was, until you came along. You've already caused me hurt and caused me pain, but not in the way people usually do. So I have to let you go. And I will keep saying that same phrase over and over again until it actually happens. Because this type of pain you've caused hurts more than it ever has with any other guy before. I trusted, and still do I guess, trust you 100% with anything. I gave you all of myself. Which might have been the problem. You gave me none of you. I suppose that is on my head though. I've never given someone that much of me. Then I did to someone who, to be honest, I barely knew. Maybe someday I'll be strong enough to go back and remember you. But for now, I'm as weak as I've always been. And you don't even care.
5.24.2009
Forget Me, Not.
Okay so maybe we haven't graduated yet. But I really hope that you don't forget me. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. You seem to know me better than I could ever know myself. Even when I try and kid my own mind, you turn it around to let me know that I do know what your talking about and that I do know what I'm doing. I try and mask it with a smile or a quick laugh. But you keep a stern face on and let me know that I cannot fool you. Does it bug me? Yes. Can it hurt me sometimes? Yes. Would I want it any other way? No. I look forward to talking to you everyday that I can. You're the first name I look for when I get online. It's a little more than vaguely pathetic since I know you've never and will never feel how I feel towards you. The feeling has just been following me around for a little bit. But I can't forget it. Why? I have no fucking idea. Okay so I started writing this post a couple hours ago and was unaware of how to fill it. And now I know how to, by going against the topic of this posting. I need to forget you. I don't care if you forget me or not. All I know is I need to just let go of how I feel about you and get on with my life. Yeah, I mean I'll miss all the great advice and you making me laugh at the stupidest things. I will miss that, it cheers me up so much. But I think I can find someone who will replace you. No, I know WILL find someone who WILL replace you. At the moment I think it's the best thing for me to do. I can't get attached to anyone at all. It's the perfect way of setting myself up for getting hurt. I've done it in the past. And it's something I haven't let myself do since 8th grade. That was, until you came along. You've already caused me hurt and caused me pain, but not in the way people usually do. So I have to let you go. And I will keep saying that same phrase over and over again until it actually happens. Because this type of pain you've caused hurts more than it ever has with any other guy before. I trusted, and still do I guess, trust you 100% with anything. I gave you all of myself. Which might have been the problem. You gave me none of you. I suppose that is on my head though. I've never given someone that much of me. Then I did to someone who, to be honest, I barely knew. Maybe someday I'll be strong enough to go back and remember you. But for now, I'm as weak as I've always been. And you don't even care.
